After some reflection from Wednesday evening’s events, I’ve formulated some thoughts and questions…
1. On what planet does a married professional woman who gives blow jobs in bar parking lots to men she’s just met feel righteous in judging others as parents or even human beings in general?
2. A married woman claiming she’s desperate for friendship who sees nothing “all that” wrong in sleeping with her friends’ lover? And then hanging her friend’s character out to dry, just for good measure?
What is that? Is that okay? Do the moral aspects of a person’s character or life even have any bearing at all on these questions? Do we keep all of this stuff separate while we are wearing our judge’s robe and gossiping through our journalist’s megaphone? When judging others should it be just about them, where the judge remains beyond reproach?
Hey, I heard Susie has been cheating on her husband for years!
Oh really, so have you…
Maybe so, but this is about Susie right now….
How do you sit and reflect in judgment on others’ lives, mistakes, rumors, choices, etc, etc, without your thoughts immediately turning to your own? I am incapable. My thoughts automatically go straight to “Oh…I once did that too” or “Gosh…I’ve done something similar myself”….I do not get to pass Go and collect 200 justifications. It seems the moment I try on the judge’s robe, my entire life is immediately suspect and under the microscope as well….. Immediately! Am I just overly self-aware compared to the typical person? I’m wondering why so many seem to feel righteous in their judgements against others and I’ve noticed that it’s often the very people whose life choices could truly come into serious question, perhaps in direct defiance of the Ten Commandments, for example…? I’m not religious in any way and yet it does seem to me that the Ten Commandments are, for the most part, pretty basic rules of morality. It shouldn’t require a membership or devotion to an organized religion to comprehend them and agree that they are just pretty basic ideas of common decency in general, regardless of any doctrine of faith. Religious rules are typically up for argument and interpretation….only beyond the basics though in my opinion. It seems to me though that the majority of people I know who judge the most and often the most unfairly are the very people not living by the basic creed of respect for others and/or humanity, but living their lives in a hedonistic, “whatever is best for me”, however I have to get it type manner. And these people so often feel justified in sitting around passing judgement on others? And usually judging the loudest, as though they hope the world will hear and somehow deflect attention on their personal lives and choices? Or do these people truly have themselves convinced that their behaviors are all excused and/or justified, while every one else’s should be placed under the microscope and broadcasted for the public masses? I have to argue that this kind of thinking floats around in the box of similarity to sociopathic thinking. Although I’m not saying all selfish hedonistic types (i.e. ‘MY pleasure, MY best interest at ANY cost is perfectly acceptable’) are sociopaths, but I do see a similar train of thought here.
I once read a book called The Sociopath Next Door which claimed that one in ten (I believe it was? Or some similar statistic…)people are sociopaths. I thought that statistic was a reach, but in reflection on the depth of denial running amouk and society’s willingness to throw others under the bus so to speak in order to preserve themselves or defend some irrational fear that a defense tactic is needed although there is no attack in progress, or perhaps merely for the fun of it (?), puts me in a place of thought where I can clearly see the one in ten possibility. Not all sociopaths are on the extreme end of the spectrum, like serial killers for example, but I can see a direct connection to the low-to-no-conscience behaviours of society and the personality traits of a sociopath.
When people spread ugly false rumors about another person, are they doing this because they’re trying to protect someone from harm? Are they doing it because they really believe the information and feel obligated to society’s ‘right to kow” and a satisfaction in spreading the news? Are they doing it because they get higher self satisfaction in the (possibility of) mistakes and/or misery of others which they figure as far worse than their own imperfections? And what of the people who just flat-out lie about others? Do they actually somehow convince themselves of these lies as truth or do they spread it around, in full realization that they are lying? To me, the first indicates the possibility of a serious mental issue and the second resembles the thought processes of a sociopath…
And how did I become a magnet for these types? Is it true that birds of a feather flock together and I just can’t (or won’t?) see these traits in myself? Or is it that these types have excellent radar for attracting easy targets? Or a combination of both possibly?
Are these people so sick that they are to be pitied? There are so very many crimes against humanity far, FAR worse than these, yes I know, which go on every day all over the world. And I feel nauseated and sick to think of them…but these small little crimes against the spirit are so common and so accepted (or so it seems to me) in my little world that I wonder if it is like this in most people’s lives? Is this the current “norm”? Or am I just the lucky one who attracts more than most?