3 o’clock in the morning and I wake up with Bruce Hornsby’s Every Little Kiss running through my mind! Can’t recall the last time I heard that song!! How on earth did it end up in my head in the wee hours of the morning, waking me up?
Accupuncture yesterday was incredible!! I had the most beautiful vision of my daughters and I walking along a path with big gorgeous green trees on either side. The sun shining between them down on us while we held hands. Shiny ribbons of soft light linked us, light that moved and breathed flexibly. Confidence and happiness surrounding us like a bubble of protection. Mark was there too somehow, only not in the vision specifically… maybe just off to the side a little? It was refreshing and invigorating…comforting. The ribbons that linked us, the light that surrounded us was love. It was the strength of our love keeping us safe. And with all the questions and doubts, wonderings, opportunities and choices, somehow I knew we were taking the right path. This was the right one for us. And I think it was leading us to Mark in Vegas maybe…? Not sure, but that’s what it seemed. No trees like that in Vegas though and I sure do love the trees – great big woody green yummy trees! Wondrous sources of protection in their own right, I suppose…
Having vivid dreams since returning fron Vegas vacation. Waking early in the morning again too:-( Somehow waking at 3 or 4 am in Vegas wasn’t as frustrating. Maybe since I knew it was actually 6 or 7 am here? It was peaceful that time of the morning there. I could sit outside on the patio, watch the stars in quiet reverance and drink in the moonlight, letting it wash over me like a fountain of natural life giving energy. I didn’t expect the moon to be so bright so close to the city!
Dreamt of BZ the night before last. It was a nice dream. I missed her and I told her so, of course. We were catching up on everything. I don’t really miss her like that, but in my dream I did? Wonder why? Or maybe I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings in my dream because I felt like I’m supposed to miss her?
On my way to accupuncture yesterday, I saw DK. He was pacing in front of his house on his cell phone, wearing a red hoodie with the hood up. I stopped to ask if he was okay (gosh!?) and he hung up his phone laughing snidely. As soon as he said he was okay, just waiting for his “buddy to pick him up for the gym”, I was backing out of his driveway, even as he was speaking. I did not want him to mistake my stop for anything but a caring for his well being and safety, nor give him the chance to think it was anything else whatsoever. I would stop like that for anyone I know in my neighborhood who looked as though they might need some help. Knowing he was fine, made me kick myself for stopping, even so briefly. What am I trying to do? I had such wonderfully happy energy yesterday. Was I trying to make sure it drained away into misery? I somehow always feel safe like that; safe to push the limits… as though he can’t affect me even if he does try. Yet, I truly know better. I cannot dance with the devil without the agony of having my spirit manipulated. Nor does he ever need my help really…at least not the kind of “help” I have to offer. So, why did I even bother stopping to see that snide, sly smirk on his face.
I know he got our letters telling him to stay away. All three of us sent them and I have to hope he might honor that. I made a subtle threat in mine to call the police if he shows up again. Not an outright threat, as I know my own limits, but a subtle innuendo that I’m hoping will make him think twice and at least worry a little that I might actually mean it…. Worry enough to stay away, I hope!