…and on with the spring cleaning!
Nude linen peek-a-boo flats:
Purchased online last summer in a frenzy of a spontaneous (yes, truly spontaneous in every sense of the word!) trip to Albany, NY.
Came across a man who went to my same school years ago. he was a guy I’d had an adolescent crush on for several years in middle school and beyond. One of those crushes so secret that you don’t admit it to anyone, not even really yourself;. It’s always there, it just sorta hangs out in the quiet admiration corner. In fact, now that I think about it….maybe it was actually more of an admiration thing than a crush thing altogether anyway….
So… crossed paths on Facebook. He denied my friend request at first, apparently because he didn’t remember or recognize me. No real surprise there. After all, I was the little girl with the crush. He was older and more social than I. And FB friends we became….
A running inside joke regarding DK on my page between my friends and I sparked his curiosity, which sparked some one on one emails and extended conversations getting to know each other a little better and such. I was honest about my struggle to get past the DK thing as well as the fact that I was still sexually active with him and rarely anyone else, but mostly my desperation to move on from that situation/relationship/whatever it’s called. At some point he makes the suggestion of just finding another, better lover and I’d get past it all just fine, with a hint of his availability to provide this phenomena. Flirty, suggestive emails commence…and I’m enjoying this diversion from my broken heart. In hind sight, it was probably initially intended merely as a joke or a tease or something, but I, in my true form of desperation and love of this newly blossoming friendship with a school-age crush, took this as a serious possibility and booked a flight to Albany. Did I mention my desperation to get past the whole DK thing? I did? Okay.
Flight booked. It’s summer and I have lost my favorite pair of shoes. I do this often..it might even be my MO. I perpetually struggle to keep shoes and coats. That’s just my thing, I guess… And I need these to wear in Albany. Online shopping I go in search of another similar pair to bring on this emergency voyage of desperation.
Off white (beige?) linen peek-a-boo flats….would go with just about every summer thing I own…shorts, sundresses, capris, etc… Perfect! Purchased. Then packed and off I go to Albany!
This turns into the strangest visit ever! I still have this admiration thing from the 7th grade going on. He is still very handsome, by my specific terms of what is attractive. He is funny, he is very intelligent and he has an amazing dog…WOW! I fall madly in love with the dog, by the way…no really..I mean madly. And I do like him as well. he is a fabulous cook, a brilliant host and I have a great time. The personal (physical?) connection is not understood though. Was there one? I really don’t even know, but my guess today is not much, if any. I wasn’t too concerned about this really, as the whole defining purpose behind the visit was shrouded in the mist of my love and adoration of DK. Anyway, I was having a great time and I was far, FAR removed from the risk of connecting with DK while in Albany, so what did it matter either way?
He never once kissed me in any passionate way throughout my entire visit. I felt like this meant we were connecting probably more as friends and didn’t really think too much of it. Friends was just fine with me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, I’m sure. Until….. we did connect sexually once….. I was truly taken aback…..HEY, I thought we were just connecting as friends?! I assumed there was no big sexual attraction going on. What’s this now?!??
… and something was missing. Sort of felt like a piece of loud, almost beautiful music minus a critical instrument. So close to hmmmm….maaayyyybeeeee??? …yet missing something big and undefinable, like maybe it needed more cow bell or something. Really still haven’t quite figured it out…
Ummm….wait! No, I know!!!! It was missing the kissing!!! He never kissed me, not even *then*!! Maybe this is common for prostitutes or even perhaps not so strange for a spontaneous voyage of desperately running from DK. However, I have not once in my life experienced this let’s-just-do-it-and-still-not-kiss-thing. I am confused. After a few days, I finally ask him outright if he ever intends to kiss me. I am far less concerned with the actual kiss at this point than the fact that I’ve never experienced this “issue” before. Do I have a bad case of halitosis? Do I seem lacking in the oral hygiene department? I mean What?!!? (None of this do I say to him or ask, of course, but I’m wondering all of this after we passed the “just a visit between friends” thing.)
He says yes, at some point he will kiss me. Okay. Just curious. Having fun either way….no big deal….cool….
So, I have a truly fantastic little mini vacation with an interesting, attractive, and intelligent crush from way back when, develop a mad crush and obsession with his fabulous dog…and on the way to the airport to go home, we stop for sushi. Delicious sushi, by the way! I mean…yummmmmy! After we eat and are waiting for the check, he gets up to go to the men’s room. As he walks past me at the table, he leans down suddenly and quickly gives me a smooch on the cheek. Awwww..that is sweet, I think to myself. He returns from the men’s room and says, “See? I told you I would kiss you!”
Oh my, my, my… Seriously, what was that?
Thank you. Had a blast. Good bye Albany! Into the box you go little shoes…