My youngest daughter showed me this video yesterday. I’ve heard the song plenty, but never had seen this. I did not cry! There was a hollow-ness inside where the images and the words just bounced around uncomfortably. I thought of so many different things all at once, rushing around my mind faster than my ability to feel or process them all…
My mother, my teachers, the abused children I’ve met in my work, my own children, Dave as the little angel boy, Dave as the abuser….
They aren’t supposed to run off to play in heaven where he knows her vulnerabilities and her weaknesses. She trusts him…and feels so grateful she has someone who loves her and cares for a change. And then he uses them to further hurt her, without ever “intending” to do so, of course.
I can’t help but think is he wounded too? Is that why he has become this? At this point, I can’t afford to let myself care, but I wonder what creates this vast discrepancy in his character? Annyway, it matters not, as he is so strong and so proud, even he would not admit to himself if it were. So, he has that blanket of strength to protect him and give him the coldness (the sense of entitlement?) to jump on other people to get what he needs to make himself feel better. Somehow while standing in the line of vulnerabilty, I wasn’t given one of those self-survival blankets of protection. Sure wish I could buy one of those!